Pretending to be a Carpenter

M: ...and then they're like uh, "Wow!" and it's like, "Were you a carpenter?" And I'm like, "Yeah! I was a carpenter for a while."

A: But what kind of stuff do you know about carpentry?

M: I just know--I know enough to seem like, cause like I feel like I know enough about football--and that's the other thing, sometimes I'll claim I'm a 49ers fan.

A: You know enough about the 49ers to be a fan?

M: I definitely know enough about the 49ers. I probably like know more about the 49ers than some 49ers fans.

A: Why don't you just say you're a Patriots fan? Because that's true.

M: I kinda am, but I don't know anything about the Patriots. I know about the 49ers cause Jack talks about them all the time. Like, he could pass for someone in my family and I could pass for somebody who is a 49ers fan. Like, based on conversations we've had.

[Jad's mom approaches and tells us to take some food home]

M: she's kind of a little tipsy. She was like dancing around earlier.

A: I kind of wanted to speak french with them. Because last time I actually saw her I was going to France the first time, she spoke french to me and I was like "Whoaa."

M: Heh heh heh heh.

A: So I kind of like want to give it another shot. But it's funny like a lot of times all you have to know is like a name of like something and people will be like "Whoa, dude you know so much about it!"

M: Yeah, exactly. And like that's the same thing with casings and butt-joints and stuff like that.

A: I met this Dutch guy actually. And like I don't know much about soccer like national teams and stuff. I know names because I played a video game. And so I was like, "Oh," um, who did I say? I can't even remember who I said... you know anything about soccer?

ARLO: Huh? No, not like--I know how to play but not like teams.

A: But anyway it was a Dutch guy, and I said his name and this guy was like "Yeah!" And I said another name and he was like "Oh my god, you know!"

M: Well it's like if I talked to somebody and they knew who Bob Clampett was I'd be like super-attracted to him.

A: The carpenter guy, or--

M: He's like a cartoonist. I'd be like, "You know Bob Clampett? You and me are all right." So you just gotta find that with other people. And sometimes it's pretending you were a carpenter, or you're a 49ers fan or you lived in France.

A: Did you actually say you were in France? Because that's like--

M: I did once.

A: --that's like a whole life change.

M: Well, we didn't go into it, you know, we just hit it and I moved on.

A: Was it a class or something or like--

M: No, no, no cause it was just like, "Oh yeah" because I talked about something I did in France. And then I remembered--I don't know, but for some reason it was vital to the conversation that I had at some time lived in France.

A: Everyone's like staring you, "Did you live in France?" "Yes." It's so easy to do at that point. The tools are your hands.

[laughter]

M: It's like a council of five people like arms crossed.

A: "How do you know about this France?"

M: "Explain yourself." "I did live in France."